Firstly, I apologise for neglecting this blog for over a month, but fortunately I am back, as I wanted to discuss a personal issue, which I have to deal with on a daily basis: anxiety.
I've always been quiet and shy, and I become extremely nervous whenever I have an exam, despite being an A grade student. Currently, I am in year 11, and so I am faced regularly with many mocks and controlled assessments.
Today I had my English speaking and listening exam, as well as my FIRST EVER panic attack. How can I be so sure it was a panic attack? Trust me, when I say this, but if it ever happens you just know, especially since this was like something I've never experienced before. It was absolutely awful! Let me elaborate.
My teacher was going through what would happen in the exam and what I was supposed to do, when suddenly I had a huge surge of terror; intense fear washed over me. I couldn't breathe. I felt like my throat had tightened closed, or as if someone was strangling me, pinning me down in my seat. At this point I stopped listening to my teacher, and all I could register was immense fear and the chocking feeling in my throat. I felt like I was fearing for my life, even though I wasn't in any danger. Eventually, after God knows how long, I began breathing again... or more like hyperventilating. Also I think I must of cried for ages after.
Finally, with a mountain of tissues and an untouched cool glass of water I attempted my exam. It did not go well (mainly because in between every other sentence I was sniffling, or wiping my tears). The listening part, which is where the teacher ask questions went terrible. I couldn't concentrate on the questions and even answered a question with the nod of my head. This was until I realised only my voice was being recorded. So, yeah, I failed. Fortunately, my teacher is allowing me to redo it tomorrow and I'm praying I won't have another panic attack. I hope I never have a panic attack again!
If you've gone through a similar experience comment below and comment any tips to help cope with anxiety too. Thank you!